i'm really nothing.. sigh. a knife just stab right thru and i'm feeling real real different for the 1st time. i thot i was a good girl. ya THOUGHT! all these are just nonsense. everybody is right. it's time to reflect. maybe im living in denial that i'm fine and alright? i really hope im not. im afraid that as time past we'll drift apart. due to time difference and probably things to talk about. i dont know. all these came thru way before we've started but i thot we can get those at the back of our head. my life have been tons tons better but what about yours? i really dont know. i'm really feeling lost. but at least i know a lil bit of what you're thinking. i really want to make this different and it will be the last one.

at this very moment, many things runs thru my mind and it just bring down to one thing. im not fit for him, sigh

i love you dear, i really do-